I wrote the blog, "It's Just a House! Do something with it!!" when Paul and I were getting ready for the first tenant in our not-so-big beach house that had been in my family for forty years. I was freaking out, quietly, in my way. Emotionally, I was pushed to the edge with the intention of making the house perfect, having happy tenants, and ensuring that nothing went wrong. And nothing did go wrong, at least nothing to do with the beach house or the tenants. But six days before our first … [Read more...]
“It’s just a house! Do something with it!!”
Last year, Paul and I bought the family beach house and these words from my mother's painting class keep me going. She charged her painting students with this and other pithy sayings when they were blocked. Today, the words seem prophetic. On the 15th anniversary of my mother’s death, my dear husband and I became sole owners of the Cape May house she adored. It’s a house that has served generations of our family and friends as a respite, a place of celebration, a center for art … [Read more...]
Can You Keep a Woman’s Secret?
Self-Preservation in a Time of Misogyny: While International Women's Day honors the known as well as the unknown stories of those who have long kept a woman's secret, I believe we honor ourselves when we honor our mothers and grandmothers, ancestors, and women of all races, creeds, and eras. Therefore, I'm not content to confine this activity to one day, or one month: it is a daily practice of awareness. You may recall that the academic study of Women's History began in the 1970s, during a … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Play Your Edge in 2017
If you pay attention to patterns, you know that clinging to that which fails to love you back is toxic; you must play your edge if you want to love your life. When Carrie Fisher wrote Postcards from the Edge, she was playing her edge for all to see. Fisher shared a difficult mother-daughter journey that illuminated the path for others. She died suddenly on Tuesday, and the following day her mother died of heartbreak. Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher gave an object lesson in how to play … [Read more...]
Does Generosity Cost You?
If generosity is a good trait, why does it get tangled up in angst and confusion at this time of year? How can you maintain inner peace in a season of relentless advertising, competitive shopping and expensive gift-giving? I have been mulling over this question since we focused on the week six theme of generosity with my Mother-Daughter Way ONE goddesses last month. It was easier to manage week 6 during the pilot group last January when I tagged the focus as a week of … [Read more...]
Defying My Mother, Again
Today marks fifteen years since my mother's death. As I awoke this morning, I remembered her last words to me. And I will defy them. I'll tell you about that soon, but first I need to set up the event of losing my mother so you understand how tangled this mother-daughter way can become. For the last two decades of her life, I considered my mother to be my best friend. She was a passionate artist. … [Read more...]
Guided Self-Discovery Can Be Sublime
The Mother-Daughter Way LIVE weekend was a celebration of shared self-discovery. On the sign-in book, I see these comments: "A warming of the heart," "Wonderful sharing and fellowship," "Beginning to really enjoy life," "Sharing with others is very healing," and "an opening of the heart in remembrance of Mom." Although our event began on a snowy afternoon chronicled by local photographers, we offered a warm welcome at "Ocean Alice's." Our off-site host, the Victorian Motel also rolled out the … [Read more...]
Transcendence in the Mother-Daughter Way
For the final week of the Mother-Daughter Way, we focus on transcendence. What does that mean in everyday terms? When my mother asked me to sit for this portrait, I resisted. I was busy. She was dying. I imagined having yet another unfinished portrait to remind me of the ways we couldn't sign off on each other. However, I agreed on the condition that I could write while she painted. I loved watching the way she rallied when she picked up a brush. As I recorded her … [Read more...]
Compassion is Another Kind of Beauty
Compassion is the focus for the 9th week of the Mother-Daughter Way – compassion for self and for others. Valentine’s Day messages bombard us with lush images of romantic love – images that can be elusive and misleading. They exude a manufactured beauty that doesn't fit all shapes, sizes or ages. By contrast, compassion is always a good fit. This week, we look at times in our lives when we gave up on a dream that still smolders. It's essential to recognize and heal those … [Read more...]
A Powerful Combo: Emotional Strength & Vulnerability
Emotional strength coupled with vulnerability makes a powerful combination. After my mother died, this self-portrait startled me when I found it among her works-in-progress. It showed her strength of character and her self-awareness as she faced her mortality. The portrait was a project my mother started after she survived her first battle with breast cancer, but she never signed it or left any description for provenance. I dated the work by the visual clue of her curly post-chemotherapy … [Read more...]
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