For the final week of the Mother-Daughter Way, we focus on transcendence. What does that mean in everyday terms? When my mother asked me to sit for this portrait, I resisted. I was busy. She was dying. I imagined having yet another unfinished portrait to remind me of the ways we couldn't sign off on each other. However, I agreed on the condition that I could write while she painted. I loved watching the way she rallied when she picked up a brush. As I recorded her … [Read more...]
Compassion is Another Kind of Beauty
Compassion is the focus for the 9th week of the Mother-Daughter Way – compassion for self and for others. Valentine’s Day messages bombard us with lush images of romantic love – images that can be elusive and misleading. They exude a manufactured beauty that doesn't fit all shapes, sizes or ages. By contrast, compassion is always a good fit. This week, we look at times in our lives when we gave up on a dream that still smolders. It's essential to recognize and heal those … [Read more...]
A Powerful Combo: Emotional Strength & Vulnerability
Emotional strength coupled with vulnerability makes a powerful combination. After my mother died, this self-portrait startled me when I found it among her works-in-progress. It showed her strength of character and her self-awareness as she faced her mortality. The portrait was a project my mother started after she survived her first battle with breast cancer, but she never signed it or left any description for provenance. I dated the work by the visual clue of her curly post-chemotherapy … [Read more...]
Envy Opens the Mother-Daughter Connection
Connection is the focus of this, the 7th week of the Mother-Daughter Way journey. My connection to my mother, Alice Steer Wilson, fifteen years after her death, is one of imagination and memory. I lead this part of the journey with a renewed sense of the relevance of the program mission, which is to open up the process of self-mothering the way you wish you could be mothered, or in the case of a difficult daughter, the way you wish you could open up that connection using the MOM … [Read more...]
Blessed Abundance or Cause for Panic?
The weather forecast for this weekend is all about abundance. Of snow. Which conjures Abundance's evil twin, Scarcity: scarcity of groceries, transportation, and brawn to shovel the walks. When I walked the dog today, I was warm because my sister Deb, who travels to Sweden, taught me that there's no such thing as "bad weather" -- just "bad clothing." She doled out this tidbit of sisterly wisdom on a cold winter day in Cape May, as we prepared for Christmas. The wind was bitter and I was … [Read more...]
January Thaw II: A Green Light on Your Possibility
Last week I wrote about the origin of The Mother-Daughter Way, and offered a glimpse of the power of the MOM Fix to shed light on, and reveal alternative endings to painful mother-daughter stories. I’m excited to do this pilot program with a group of interesting, thoughtful women. And I do the entire program right along with them. Yes, I've been doing this work for over fifteen years, and yes, I love the life I am living. But if I fail to cultivate my own self-mothering traits of mindfulness, … [Read more...]
A January Thaw: Melting Frozen Stories of Mothers and Daughters
The month of January is named for Janus, the God of beginnings and endings, transitions and movement, entrances and exits. In just three weeks of the Mother-Daughter Way pilot, we have witnessed gates of the heart opening. Last Tuesday night, on our weekly conference call to understand and melt the frozen parts of our stories, a woman whose estranged mother died decades ago said, "I was writing as if I was having a conversation with her. I asked her what her mother was like, and I started … [Read more...]
Christmas Story: Mothers and Daughters
Red was my mother's favorite color. I love blue. For the first week of the Mother-Daughter Way program, we focus on safety: feeling grounded and connected to earth. Within the practice of yoga and energy work, we honor the ethereal body by balancing the chakras. The healing begins with the root chakra, which is associated with the color red and the element earth, or source. Every Christmas, I feel close to my mother when I surround myself with red. What brings you close to your mothers or … [Read more...]
MOM Fix III: M is for Mercy
Even when I was an angry teenager, long before my mother and I forged our way back to forgiveness of each other and ourselves, we shared a love of the colors of nature. I was grateful for the beauty of the roses my father grew in our garden, and when I picked a few and gave them to my mother, she expanded the gift by creating the painting above. Later, when I prepared to move across the country, she gave me the painting as a memento. The 3rd profound shift to lighten and reframe the … [Read more...]
MOM Fix II: O is for Openness
The open doors of her third floor studio inspired this black and white watercolor my mother painted to illustrate my grandmother's poem about aging and seclusion. When the three of us started working on The View in Winter, Alice planned to use her skill as a colorist to brighten up her mother's poems. I argued against the use of full color illustrations because I wanted the art to complement, not overpower, the verse. Alice agreed, reluctantly, to work in black and white, and later, she was … [Read more...]