I'm excited to share a work-in-progress, the Mother-Daughter Way, although I rarely do that. This work is highly collaborative, and I welcome your questions, comments and feedback. In the potential cover for the book, my mother sits before a blank canvas in a watercolor self-portrait, "Winter Work," (1994) done in her Merchantville studio. The image on the right is her oil portrait of me, "Jan in Blue," done in 1973 as I prepared to move across the county and start a new life as far away from … [Read more...]
Thrilled to unveil Alice’s Cape May, the part represents the whole . . . .
Fifteen years ago, Saturday, my mother began painting a large oil portrait of me. That may sound unremarkable, since she was a painter and I am her daughter, but it was highly charged for two reasons: I was busy, healthy, and I hate to sit for portraits. She was weak, breathless, dying of breast cancer, and she had never been satisfied with any of the previous portraits she’d attempted of me. In her home, and my sibling’s homes, there were plenty of portraits of the rest of the family. Her … [Read more...]
Loving, Losing, Letting Go
Yesterday, I helped out as my friend Sandy Sampson conducted an estate sale to empty her parent's home. I had to see how she did it. Sandy is an awesome daughter who provided much family caregiving over the past decade. Her father, Harry Trigg, died in April 2009, and her mother, Marion Jane Bold Trigg, passed away four months ago, on Christmas Eve. Sandy set her mind and heart to the difficult task of clearing out her family's lifetime of collections, and to do so with the willing … [Read more...]
The Promise of Mothers and Daughters
...this is how you sweep a corner; this is how you sweep a whole house; this is how you sweep a yard; this is how you smile to someone you don't like too much ... Jamaica Kinkaid, "Girl" Will you be there? ... Can you hear the truth? Tori Amos, "Promise" It's been a lovely meditation for me to sit down and write daily tributes for Women's History Month. Now, on the last day, I'm returning to the relationship with the most elemental power: the Mother-Daughter bond. So … [Read more...]
Finding Our Great-Grandmother’s Stories . . .
For the twenty-fourth tribute of Women's History month, let's honor our great-grandmothers. Not one great-grandmother, but as many as we can divine, collectively, through letters, stories, personal experience, notes taped to odd and wonderful items handed down from generation to generation, and other methods our great-grandmothers found to leave something of themselves. If you are reading this, you have four great-grandmothers to puzzle over. In my case, I met one, Agnes … [Read more...]
Virginia Woolf and My First Wave
I can't say for certain when I discovered Virginia Stephen Woolf (1882-1941). Sometime during my teens I read her essay, The Waves, and felt relief as the stream of my own consciousness was echoed on the pages I was reading. I am not a Virginia Woolf scholar, and I don't own any fancy versions or first editions, but the well-worn paperbacks on my bookshelf never fail to bring me pleasure and renew that original sense of relief, validation, excitement, and energy that comes from … [Read more...]
Won’t You Celebrate With Me?
One week ago, a group of awesome daughters met to honor our mothers. We began to tell stories that had been held closely for years, and found that we didn't want to stop. Then I shared the story of the pork cake that was replaced by persimmon cake, and how a simple change in perspective (and ingredients) released me from repeating a family tradition that was making me sick. Wouldn't it be lovely to drop a deeper line into this mother lode of wisdom, creativity, and joy? Rituals of … [Read more...]
A Sister I Never Met
Bernadette Marie Stridick (6/25/1951 - 10/10/1976) For the sixteenth day of Women's History Month, I'm remembering a woman I never met, but have come to love as a sister. I imagine she would have been a good friend and sister-in-law, had she lived long enough to celebrate my wedding to her brother. In October 1989, soon after I began dating Paul, he dropped out for a couple of days. When we reconnected, he told me that the anniversary of the day his sister had … [Read more...]
Before DIY Was Trendy, There was Erma . . .
Today, on the 15th day of Women's History Month, I'm honoring my paternal grandmother, Erma Rebecca Frederick Wilson. Born on July 1, 1890, Erma spent her entire 97 years in Columbiana, Ohio. We visited her at the house where my father grew up, one block from Main Street. Her home was spotless and she always filled a table with fresh vegetables from her kitchen garden, pickles, canned peaches, cottage cheese, freshly made bread, pies, cookies and home-made preserves. She was the epitome of the … [Read more...]
Women’s Stories Count and VIDA Keeps Track . . .
For women to make history, we must tell our stories and listen to each other. We must name names. We must count. When I promised my mother that I would curate her art and archives, neither of us realized how difficult it would be. I counted the paintings in her studio and the family collection, mailed a request for information to her collectors, and compiled a database of 1,200 works, out of an estimated 2,000 she created during her lifetime. I selected a representative 200 color plates … [Read more...]