One in five Americans will serve as an unpaid caregiver, or care partner, for a loved one this year. What's more, many, like me, will do so for multiple loved ones over time. Therefore this message, and these flowers, are for you. To break my silence of four years, I return to this blog with a grateful heart. Let's consider the impact on our country: 53 million Americans will engage their hearts and backs to provide uncompensated healthcare this year. A report published in 2017 by AARP set … [Read more...]
The Not-So-Big Beach House
I wrote the blog, "It's Just a House! Do something with it!!" when Paul and I were getting ready for the first tenant in our not-so-big beach house that had been in my family for forty years. I was freaking out, quietly, in my way. Emotionally, I was pushed to the edge with the intention of making the house perfect, having happy tenants, and ensuring that nothing went wrong. And nothing did go wrong, at least nothing to do with the beach house or the tenants. But six days before our first … [Read more...]
“It’s just a house! Do something with it!!”
Last year, Paul and I bought the family beach house and these words from my mother's painting class keep me going. She charged her painting students with this and other pithy sayings when they were blocked. Today, the words seem prophetic. On the 15th anniversary of my mother’s death, my dear husband and I became sole owners of the Cape May house she adored. It’s a house that has served generations of our family and friends as a respite, a place of celebration, a center for art … [Read more...]
Can You Keep a Woman’s Secret?
Self-Preservation in a Time of Misogyny: While International Women's Day honors the known as well as the unknown stories of those who have long kept a woman's secret, I believe we honor ourselves when we honor our mothers and grandmothers, ancestors, and women of all races, creeds, and eras. Therefore, I'm not content to confine this activity to one day, or one month: it is a daily practice of awareness. You may recall that the academic study of Women's History began in the 1970s, during a … [Read more...]
Board the Kind Ship Now
It's time to pay attention . . . Last December, as I created exercises for the Mother-Daughter Way focus on kinship, a typo got my attention. I kept misspelling “kinship” by adding the letter "d" and creating a new word – kindship. It happened so frequently, I had to pay attention. Why? Because, at the risk of sounding woo woo, I believe certain so-called errors arise from a deeper level of consciousness. Like the word, which spawned the idea, of a Kind Ship. That's why I write every day. I … [Read more...]
3 Ways to Play Your Edge in 2017
If you pay attention to patterns, you know that clinging to that which fails to love you back is toxic; you must play your edge if you want to love your life. When Carrie Fisher wrote Postcards from the Edge, she was playing her edge for all to see. Fisher shared a difficult mother-daughter journey that illuminated the path for others. She died suddenly on Tuesday, and the following day her mother died of heartbreak. Debbie Reynolds and Carrie Fisher gave an object lesson in how to play … [Read more...]
Does Generosity Cost You?
If generosity is a good trait, why does it get tangled up in angst and confusion at this time of year? How can you maintain inner peace in a season of relentless advertising, competitive shopping and expensive gift-giving? I have been mulling over this question since we focused on the week six theme of generosity with my Mother-Daughter Way ONE goddesses last month. It was easier to manage week 6 during the pilot group last January when I tagged the focus as a week of … [Read more...]
Defying My Mother, Again
Today marks fifteen years since my mother's death. As I awoke this morning, I remembered her last words to me. And I will defy them. I'll tell you about that soon, but first I need to set up the event of losing my mother so you understand how tangled this mother-daughter way can become. For the last two decades of her life, I considered my mother to be my best friend. She was a passionate artist. … [Read more...]
Spring Lilies Evoke Energy of Gratitude
When my father planted the secret garden of our alley with spring lilies in 1994, he couldn’t have imagined the lasting energy of gratitude those simple bulbs would evoke over the years. They bloomed so brightly, so shamelessly, so vibrantly the following spring that my mother was compelled to paint them in their glory. And now, decades later, “Spring Lilies” has become one of her most beloved paintings of all the genres and all the moments she memorialized in her work which spanned fifty … [Read more...]
Guided Self-Discovery Can Be Sublime
The Mother-Daughter Way LIVE weekend was a celebration of shared self-discovery. On the sign-in book, I see these comments: "A warming of the heart," "Wonderful sharing and fellowship," "Beginning to really enjoy life," "Sharing with others is very healing," and "an opening of the heart in remembrance of Mom." Although our event began on a snowy afternoon chronicled by local photographers, we offered a warm welcome at "Ocean Alice's." Our off-site host, the Victorian Motel also rolled out the … [Read more...]
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